Thanksgiving Parade LOLs





So one time a few years back I'm walking in Chelsea and this Mercedes SUV barreling down the street almost runs me over. My return glare melts away when I realize Jeff Koons is sitting in the driver's seat, and he's shrugging me an apology. True story.

Jeff Koons Spends Thanksgiving In Macy's
A Bunny Balloon Sheds Its Steel Skin


Even more boring anecdote inspired by a night of drinking:

At the age of nine or ten I witnessed my one and only Thanksgiving Day Parade. Clearly remember overpacked streets, people jostling for position to get a decent view, and a pretzel cart bumped around. A plastic ketchup bottle had been knocked over in the scrum, all of a sudden a New York City police officer, who should have been directing traffic, decided that this was the perfect moment to apply his leather heel. I remember being mesmerized by his lazy stream of squirting ketchup, until I snapped out of it and asked my mother why a cop would do such a mean thing.

"New York City cops are bastards", she replied.

Huge impact on my tender young psyche. Still possibly sage advice.