Banana Nutrament

Pitchfork Stalking Roundtable

Embarrasing and/or regrettable pictures of the Pitchfork staff abound on Friendster. Remember Friendster? Remember how it was fun for a minute and then everyone got tired of it and left their profiles in a state of update purgatory? Well, our crack reporters logged back in, so let's put a face to a favorite writer's name in this inaugural Banana Nutrament roundtable.

Rob Mitchum

Deirdre: He's posting on his Wittgenstein Lovers LiveJournal page.

Darnell: No, he's raising the Buy It Now! price on his exhaustive collection of Factory Records ephemera. Now he's taking the auction down entirely!

Miguel: Wrong, he's on the Genesis P-Orridge page organizing a flash mob.

Rating: 2.7

Rob Kleckner

Indeie: I really grok this seminal haircut reissue.

Miguel: This isn't such a great photo, but it does give us a rare glimpse into Pitchfork headquarters. Note the story assignments on the dry erase board.

Darnell: I didn't know they still made Tab.

Rating: 6.2

Julianne Shepherd

Gordo: There's a certain vibe here. I was thinking shy but spunky. Then it hit me. It's "Naughty Schoolgirl".

Miguel: Whoa.

Darnell: Yeah, definitely.

Deirdre: You lot are disgusting.

Indeie: Can you imagine the post-coital cigarette, running idle fingers through her hair as she expounds on the subtle intricacies of Sufjan Stevens' latest release?

Darnell: Or stencils "Aesop Rock" onto your limited edition titanium Trapper Keeper?

Deirdre: I'm going to give her a 0.0 just to round down your piggish scores.

Rating: 8.0

Nick Sylvester

Miguel: It looks like he just got back from some sweet ass rave with all the cool kids from ILM. The jocks couldn't even get in the door.

Gordo: He must have eaten some bum E pills.

Deirdre: Don't pull a Leah Betts, Nick!

Darnell: If I ever became a British trance DJ, that would be my name, DJ Leah Betts

Rating: 4.1

Ryan Schreiber

Indeie: This is an atrocity to mankind.

Miguel: Do you think he lost the foam sombrero that goes with that?

Indeie: It says he lives in McLean, VA. Something is amiss here.

Miguel: Maybe he telecommutes.

Rating: 0.0

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