Banana Nutrament

Black Metal Chat Room

Far be it from me to try to steal any thunder away from The Black Metal Dialogues (via Gumbyfresh), but every now and then, when I need a lighter moment, I troll Black Metal chatrooms. I don't even have to do much, these people unintentionally write funnier stuff than I ever could:

[Eisenfaust] has someone listened to the new Hellfucked album?
[ATA] Anybody heard the new Akercocke?
[MTIRD] analcunt
[infernal vulture] ugliness shall be endeth
[UglinessAndSecretions] you know what anus cunt is?
[23DeadRosicrucians] I got the new akercocke
[--Etoile noirE--] ackercoke argh is a big shit
[UglinessAndSecretions] hey, whats you problem man?
[i*am*the*black*wizards] we are children of odin and thor
[Odd-Einar] u deny humans conquered the world?
[infernal vulture] rats are sucessful creatures, yet eagles are near extinction
[sven hoek] hahaahah
[melrick] some aliens are creaters of life in the galaxy
[sven hoek] and they are extradimensional entities
[melrick] some aliens are daemons
[sven hoek] aliens are gods
[Odd-Einar] scientology is insane, cause they say aliens landed on Hawaii 7 million years ago, but the problem is that Hawaii didnt exist at that time
[sven hoek] scientology is a money making scheme
[infernal vulture] all is just a fucking jewish conspiracy
[23DeadRosicrucians] L Ron Hubbard belonged to a sex magick cult in Florida in the 30s before he started scientology
[Alex Schwarz] Satan is like Darth Vader or something
[Odd-Einar] nobody listens to your feeble illogic views on nature/ humanity
[sorrowtears] aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[23DeadRosicrucians] the world as a whole has never been ready to accept enlightenment... those who cant understand it have always tried to destroy those who do...
[UglinessAndSecretions] black metal man does not want to believe...he wants to disbelieve and destroy!
[Odd-Einar] humans are better than animals thats an universal truth
[UglinessAndSecretions] how is that a universal truth..?
[noisebastard] animals dont eat mcdonalds and listen to Eminem
[Odd-Einar] nobody will manage to kill Varg, he's so powerful and true, a real necrokult frostbitten bastard, krieg as hell
[] can anyone recommend any Christian friendly Black Metal bands?
[VikingligrVeldi] are you kidding?
[SuSa] lol
[SuSa] christian black metal = ass shit
[NocturnoC] lol
[Alex Schwarz] there is no such thing, banana nutrament
[BuriedTemporarily] yeah there is
[Lord of Tears] Christ's Womb is good
[BuriedTemporarily] white metal
[NocturnoC] lol
[VikingligrVeldi] how about "Cut Your Flesh and Worship Satan"?
[Alex Schwarz] it's not black metal then
[Pure_Hatred] Black metal is Antichristian, it is like asking for satanic gospel
[NocturnoC] then it isnt black metal
[Alex Schwarz] well, black metal is the satanic gospel
[Pure_Hatred] Try Satanic Slaughter, banananutrament, they are pretty christian
[NocturnoC] try antichrist 666, good christian black metal
[Pure_Hatred] or Impaled Nazarene
[ShieldMaiden] no he shall try Archgoat
[Alex Schwarz] Setherial is a good christian band
[Pure_Hatred] Diabolis Arising
[CrepuscolarWhisper] don't forget Havohej, songs about God's love, flowers, coloured birds and etc...

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